Theophany

Flying? in Physics I learned
flying requires force,
so it's not flying I'm doing.
Perhaps floating. I never understood floating.
Curiosity for the Others
crowds self awareness out.

They are bodies of want need desire solitude
alight with care confusion joy hope solace delight
so bright shining from within
Their faces are transparent.
Naked of type-symbols, They are
resistant to capricious categorization -
seeming indistinguishable except
for inner subtle nuance detail
heretofore ignored
quiet Truths hidden safe
behind guided presumption

Each Self is whole discreet unique
curiosity fascinated
One compels attention for His hue of compassion
tens more
anOther for Her tortured straitarrow integrity
hundreds more
that One vividly lives despite worlds of gray
thousands more
this One dreams wings for a broken soul
five billion more

in Their intricate existence
They Kaleidoscope
supplementary and complementary energies
Their singular shapes Create
discord and fruition
numbing Patterns
surprising magnificent coherence
exciting Possibilities
it is Church and I am part of it
a measure beyond Grandeur
intimidating beauty

panic

Selfawareness crashes in
I am too young I am not yet ready

an abrupt crescendo tide
I belong here? (it is too dazzling)
I am allowed? (there must be a mistake)
Do I want this? (I'm scared of this)

I begin a dizzy search for bearing
I feel terror -
I've lost my home.
I am a child momentarily
distracted in a crowd
realizing my separation from comfort.

In reeling desperation
I search the Pattern for hope

suddenly One stands out
a startling reprieve
it is a refuge peculiarly familiar

I hear mySelf echo my own choosing babysoul:
THAT'S THE ONE I CALL ME this time

helpless relief

Surrendering
wrenchingly
I recognize separation from the majestic whole.
With astounded acceptance
I reduce to my self-foible.
In grateful resignation
I yield to the old shoe easiness
and exhausted bewildered satisfaction
of my isolated perception
alive separate mySelf
this time.